Once Again Vogue Blows My Mind

In a bad way.

http://www.vogue.com/fashion/10-best-dressed/10-best-dressed-february-27/

It’s the best dressed lists I tend to take issue with, and with this one, there is a spectacular unifying factor to all of the outfits I find problematic: Marni for H&M.

I’m going to go ahead and say RIGHT HERE that these are my opinions, and the following is largely a matter of taste. I tend to dress fairly plainly.  My favorite outfit for a nice evening out is a black blouse and skirt with nude tights and heels with pearls.  So, sometimes when trends feature ridiculous patterns, I tend to get really turned off.  I don’t like Missoni, M or For Target! or otherwise.  Basically, anything too busy? Not for me.

That being said, if I’m gathering correctly from the launch of Marni for H&M, the brand seems to consist entirely of taking weird prints and pairing them with weirder prints.  And I’ve seen this other places in Vogue as well.  It seems like the fashion industry as a whole is saying, “GO! Cover yourself from top to toe in loud prints, because that will make you look FASHION FORWARD, not ridiculous!”  The best–if by best I mean most appalling, and I do–looks are really when it’s ALL ONE LOUD ASS PRINT, causing my eyeballs to explode in horror.

Side note, I don’t know if it’s the fabric, or the flash from the cameras, but damn that fabric looks like it might actually be plastic.  I also object to the ankle length pants, since we are not in a flood, but that’s really the tip of the iceberg in this mess.

So you believe me that it’s not just the best dressed lists or Marni being all wackadoodle, I will now provide pictorial proof of Lara Stone in a matching bag, blouse, and skirt, all Nina Ricci in a Vogue spread.  Is she also wearing a matching hat????

I also don’t like loud print on different loud print.  Fuck this trend.  I refuse.  Who’s with me?