Stella McCartney Looks Ridiculous, Water Is Wet

I mean, really.  I’m trying to think of occasions where she has dressed like a normal human, and I’m coming up mostly blank.  I feel like there must be some occasion where I didn’t just groan at her, but on this particular occasion, she went to the same event as the Duchess of Cambridge, who looked beautiful and appropriate.  Stella McCartney looked like she’d worn a pajama jumpsuit.

She looked like that MOSTLY because I’m pretty sure that’s what she actually wore.

In typical fashion, it’s also in a weird print, and is cut unusually.  There’s also some weird jacket that doesn’t go with it at all, and yet when I discovered this monstrosity on Vogue’s website, they seemed to think it was just amazeballs.  Hint: it was not.

For the purposes of comparing, let’s take a look at what Kate wore to said event:

And then I hit the “next” button on the slideshow and recoiled in horror.

 

….sigh.

Can we talk about the fact that she has exactly zero curves in that outfit?  I’m all astonishment.  I didn’t think that someone who poured herself into a curve-hugging (if completely appalling) lace jumpsuit would then turn around and wear an outfit that in color and silhouette appears to be inspired by the TARDIS.

I realize looking like a rectangle is “fashionable” or something, given the number of designers who quite willingly cut coats and outfits that have as much shape as…well…..a box, but it isn’t flattering on real women.  Note that Kate, who is a RAIL, is wearing a dress that nips in at her waist.  Stella, too, is very thin, but one of them looks extremely elegant and feminine, and it isn’t the supposed fashion designer.

ALSO.  I have just noticed that there appear to be either weird black pocket linings on her “shirt,” or there are inexplicable black patches on it.  Either way, I’m really irritated by them, even though it adds to her resemblance to the TARDIS.  What the hell ass is going on up there, and why can’t it all go away??