Everything Is Ruined Forever

I feel like that may be a bold title, but when we compare the content of yesterday’s post to today’s, I feel it’s a fair assessment.

In addition to being very well-dressed, I would argue that the five women I featured yesterday have all handled fame with a certain amount of grace and poise (this can be substituted for making crazy faces and laughing at themselves in the case of Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence, who seem like they would be AWESOME to hang out with).  Today, we go as far in the opposite direction as we can possibly go.

Lindsay Lohan.

As if it wasn’t enough that she has crazy clown makeup, and weird shoes, and an inexplicably fringed AND polka-dotted AND bra revealing shirt, she also has to forget to wear pants.  I mean, I always forget my trousers when I go to parties.  Oh wait, that’s right.  I enjoy looking like someone from Planet Sanity.

I’m going to devote an extra line to those shoes, because what in the wide world of sports is going on there?  Is that the real version of those wack Stella McCartney wedges?  Did she ruin a pair of ankle boots?  Did she buy something horrible?

Can we talk about Where It All Went Wrong?  Because I remember her looking like this:

And this….

I realize that was eight years ago, which is something that makes me feel very, very old, but I would argue that aside from the copious boobage, she is practically unrecognizable.  She is only a few years older than me, but I would argue that she now more closely resembles Donatella Versace than herself eight years ago.  This is pretty alarming for someone in her mid twenties.

Hyperbole or not, I feel like my description isn’t all that far off.  She looks like a makeup and plastic surgery monster, and a shadow of her former self.  The only good thing I have to say is that at least she’s back to being a redhead.  She may have freaky extensions in, but she looks slightly less creepy with her natural–or close to–hair color.  Everything else is horrible, and all the more horrible for the reminder yesterday of people that are classy in this world.