Jumpsuits Are High Fashion Gone Mad
November 27, 2012 4 Comments
Whenever I run out of inspiration, which is occasionally, given how frequently and at what length I am cranky about fashion, I’m reminded that all I really need do is head over to Vogue.com to see what sort of incomprehensible version of the word “best” they’re using to describe their best dressed of the week.
This week’s involves Stella McCartney, which is really all that needs said.
The good news is that only nine people have voted this as the “best”. I would vote for it as “the worst”.
Via Vogue.com
At least her hair looks less sad?
Nope. That doesn’t save this from being a complete sartorial tragedy.
But you know. She’s a designer, so clearly this is a Best Dressed Look.
I still hate everything about this look, from her loud print to her elastic waistband, to her unhemmed pants. I HATE when my pants are unhemmed. Right now, I am gleeful because I bought a pair of beautiful grey trousers that are just barely off the floor when I’m wearing my favorite sensible heels, and it is the most satisfying thing ever to have the perfect length pants. The knowledge of that feeling–which is mostly one of vanity and smugness, it must be said–makes me even sadder for Stella McCartney, and more concerned that she is going to trip and break her face on something.
I also hated this, but I saw it on GoFugYourself yesterday and so was not planning on writing about it, since I would be worried about subconsciously writing the same thing. But then I saw it on Vogue’s best dressed, and we must take a moment to appreciate that even Diane Kruger, who can wear the hell out of anything, looks dumb in a jumpsuit.
This makes me feel better about the world, even as it makes me sad. Diane Kruger can wear anything, but she cannot wear this. Therefore, jumpsuits are beyond all hope and should probably be set on fire. I volunteer to throw in the match.
Via Vogue.com
The length is awkward, the fit is awkward, and I’ll bet that as with all jumpsuits, this is unflattering on her butt. That is the problem with jumpsuits: No one looks good in them, and they are a joke that the fashion industry is playing on us. I am not having it, even if this is currently the winning look on Vogue.com.
Sigh.
About badfads
NOT AGAIN. It seems like Stella McCartney is always wearing the same jumpsuit in a different print.
Diane Kruger’s jumpsuit isn’t half as bad; the only really alarming thing about it is the way it makes her belly looks MASSIVE. And the length, as you said; or maybe she should have worn another pair of shoes. Though I’m having trouble coming up with what would have looked good.
She really is, isn’t she? And it never gets any better.
Diane Kruger will inherently wear anything better than Stella McCartney because Diane Kruger is a flawless goddess. But yeah. I tried to imagine it with flats and I shuddered, but lower heels wouldn’t solve the inherent problem either. Boots would be the worst. And the length wouldn’t change it being a big ol’ jumpsuit.
I agree in most cases jump suits are not good. However, they really worked for Winston Churchill.
That google image search yielded some very odd results, I think you should know. My favorite was a picture of velvet pajamas, which mostly made me want to quaff a cognac in tribute to the gentleman, but it’s 7:30 in the morning, and that might be considered starting early by anyone’s standards (except maybe his….).
There was one picture of Churchill in a jumpsuit, smoking a cigar. He may not have had much style, but he could pull that look off. I think the cigar helped.
Other highlights of that google image search include: Natalie Portman, various deluded celebrities, and Kim Jong Il drinking a glass of red wine.