I Really Hate Jumpsuits
February 4, 2013 6 Comments
Once upon a time (last night), I came home late from work and was distractedly browsing various websites such as the Daily Fail and JustJared, seeing what I had missed over the past several days being busy with life and work.
Unfortunately, I seem to have developed a spidey sense for terrible outfits on people I otherwise like. This is a particularly disappointing moment in the string of endless buildup and likely disappointment that is Awards Season 2013.
You know your fashion offerings are likely to be bleak when a sponsor is Ugg boots, but Jesus Christ, that is a bad jumpsuit. All jumpsuits are bad, but this one is really awkward on top, since it looks really uneven. I also hate the vague stripes across it. Horizontal stripes on a jumpsuit in any kind is just awkward. I’m also confused by its rather unusual light bits at the knees, hips, and boobs. Weird. The pleating is also incredibly awkward.
With all that awkwardness, I must confess, I stared at this picture for awhile, thinking, “What in the hell is wrong with Dior these days? Is that seriously something of theirs?”
And then I remembered that even though Jennifer Lawrence is one of the faces of Dior, she is not contractually bound to appear only in Dior. So I checked the main page and swore violently.
“Surely not?” I thought. ”Surely she and her stylist have more self-respect.”
This is Stella McCartney.
It all makes sense, though. Weird proportions, unflattering silhouettes, otherwise attractive starlet? Textbook.
So now I have to sit here and deal with the fact that I am drawn to terrible Stella like a moth to the flame. I know it’s going to hurt; I know it’s going to be awful, but I just have to go to there. Do I have a spidey sense for Stella, and can I turn it off please?